Oops. I missed the monthly mom quote for March. Once the pandemic hit, I dedicated my time to writing about how to survive the shelter in place mandate. At this point, I think we could all use a little humor. I made this funny guilty mom quote free printable and decided I needed to bring it to you, with a story.
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Guilty moms
Technically this quote doesn’t just apply to moms. Dads can have guilt too. It’s just that mom guilt is an entity unto itself. I think it gets stronger with the number of kids you have. I have eight kids. Mom guilt is strong in this one.
Parenting story
This story doesn’t actually have to do with mom guilt, but hopefully it’ll be funny to you anyway. If you’d like to read another parenting story, you can find one here.
True confession, I am recounting stories that I have posted to a family blog I started in 2010. I wanted to chronicle our adoption journey and life with a boatload full of kids. If you are interested, you can find it here. I moved the blog and started another one here. You just have to promise that you’ll act as though you’ve never heard the stories when I tell them here!
Let me preface the “story” by saying that at the time it was written, we called two of our kids the “Wonder Twins,” also known as the “WTs.” They were (well, still are) only 9 months apart and would get into lots of trouble together.
Toddler Olympic events?
Because the Tokyo Olympics have been postponed until next year, I bring you some possible toddler Olympic events. You decide if your children have what it takes to medal in one of them.
Diaper fling
Take diapers out of the drawer (clean ones) and fling them as fast and as far as you can before getting caught.
Tupperware Toss
Similar to diaper fling, only participants us Tupperware lids, or bowls (which are not as easily airborne).
The Hover
As your twin is getting a diaper change, hover your foot over his/her head to see how much you can irritate him/her. The more he/she howls, the more successful you are.
Hide and Seek
(WTs have achieved expert status at this one) Hide items from family members by putting items in strange places (ex: remote control in Duplo blocks, CD in drawer with measuring cups, another remote at the bottom of a laundry basket, etc.).
Shoe Shenanigans
Take shoes from various members of the family. Wear them around the house. Make sure that when it is time to leave the house, no family member can find a matching pair of shoes.
Screaming Game
(Best done in small spaces such as the car) Take turns screaming, trying to be louder than the other person. When people try and “shush” you, get louder and then laugh heartily.
Playing Innocent
When Mom is out of the room, open the doors to the Forbidden Pantry. Mom will come to investigate, close doors very quickly, put backs against the door. When Mom walks in, put on your best cheesy grin and look at each other with knowing looks.
Lock Out (or In)
Since it is much easier to pull doors shut than open them, make sure your WT is on the side of the door that enables you to lock them out or in. Pull the door shut with the WT on the other side of it. Make sure to say “Bye-bye” and then walk away.
Cereal Stomp
Ask for cereal for a snack by walking over to the Forbidden Pantry (FP) and pointing. Say in your sweetest voice, “See-oh” which your family understands is “cereal.” As they put some on the coffee table, make sure to eat some to lull them into a false sense of security. Ask for more. When the five enforcers in your family are out of sight, sweep all the cereal onto the carpet, stomp on the cereal and enjoy the crunching noise it makes. When your mom comes in and asks what happened, look down on the carpet, and put your hands behind your back as you examine the floor. Exclaim, “Uh oh, mess!” as though you have no idea how the crumbs got onto the carpet.
Distract ‘n Dash
This activity requires a partner. One of you go into the school room and dump out something that makes noise (to attract attention) and has lots of pieces to it (big box of paper clips, big box of crayons, etc.). While family members are helping to pick up the mess, have your partner quietly go to the kitchen. Have him/her dump something edible on the floor (box of cereal, bonus items are containers of chocolate chips or bags of Muddy Buddies). Run into the kitchen and consume as much as you can before it gets all cleaned up.
Breach the Barricade
Work together to find the weak links in any barricade that is put up which keeps you away from really great and fun stuff. See it as a challenge when barricades are put up. Think that your parents must be encouraging you to use your skills of logic, reason, and brute force to get around, over, or through the barricades. You are in a homeschooling family, everything is a learning activity. Use things like play shopping carts to climb into. This gives you height so you can catapult yourself over barricades. Once you are on the other side of the barricade, be very quiet. Of course, the silence does sometimes arouse suspicion. It’s a calculated risk.
Crayon Crunch
Any chance you get to get a hold of crayons, take the opportunity to bite the tips off. Goal: to get as many different colors in your teeth as possible.
Hug-A-Thon
At a time that is very inconvenient for everyone (like when everyone has just sat down to eat), hold out your arms to a targeted family member and look really cute. It is a guarantee that the person will get up to give you a hug. Target another family member. Make your way around the table, multiple times even. Okay, in this game, I guess everyone wins. J
Separate subject here…to add to my list of things I don’t like to hear: “Uh, Mom? Did Kara have chocolate? She looks like she has some on her hands.” (She had not had chocolate. You can figure out the rest).
Get your funny guilty mom quote printable
You can get access to the mom quote from my free resource library. When you sign up below, you’ll get an access code to the library. Please note, that if you have gmail, my emails may end up in your “promotions” folder.
I’ll also link some books you may enjoy if you need a laugh. When I was a kid, I read “Readers Digest” religiously, especially the “Laughter is the Best Medicine” section. It’s good, clean fun!